Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Help me Obi Wan Blitzer, your my only hope!!
A long time ago in news room far far away...
News anchors would have to put up with their correspondents in the field being annoyed by people in the background of whatever setting the correspondent was in. To us the home viewer this was always a delight. 9 out of 10 times it was your cousin Bubba that no one talks about. But nobody was ever bothered by this because usually the correspondent was on our turf disrupting our life. So a little smile here, a wave to mommy there, a flash of body hair in places I never knew grew hair, no harm done.
Well apparently Wolf Blitzer had a problem with this. Wanting to get more intimate with some of his correspondents (Nicole Versansky of Rockford's WIFR comes to mind) Wolf took it upon himself to create a new technology.
Single handedly, Wolf Blitzer used the power of the dark side, and his beard to create a hologram technology that allowed him to literally beam in correspondents from the field into the newsroom. Or the situation room if you know what I mean.
Don't believe me?
How many angles to do you think Wolf would like to shoot her from?
Strangely this technology was only used once on the air. But surprisingly, Jessia Yellin found herself continually beamed into Wolf's beard.
We have to take a break from this because the 4077th is ready to make a projection, just one moment
Okay with it being 5:30 right now, we are ready to project that you will probably NOT see this hologram technology on CNN anytime soon. They spent all their money on John Kings new toys including a flat screen HD monitor that has little elves inside of it that actually go out and color the states whatever color Mr. King desires.
So i know I promised election analysis, but it seems to me as if things are pretty obvious. The economy sucks and people blame George Bush. And because we saw Bush and McCain hanging out at that one party that one time, we were totally pissed at McCain. So now we're cheating on him with Obama to try and make him jealous.
Ladies and gentleman take my advice, If Wolf Blitzer ever invites you into a tent with 35 HD cameras filming differnt parts of your body, run away as quickly as you can.
News anchors would have to put up with their correspondents in the field being annoyed by people in the background of whatever setting the correspondent was in. To us the home viewer this was always a delight. 9 out of 10 times it was your cousin Bubba that no one talks about. But nobody was ever bothered by this because usually the correspondent was on our turf disrupting our life. So a little smile here, a wave to mommy there, a flash of body hair in places I never knew grew hair, no harm done.
Well apparently Wolf Blitzer had a problem with this. Wanting to get more intimate with some of his correspondents (Nicole Versansky of Rockford's WIFR comes to mind) Wolf took it upon himself to create a new technology.
Single handedly, Wolf Blitzer used the power of the dark side, and his beard to create a hologram technology that allowed him to literally beam in correspondents from the field into the newsroom. Or the situation room if you know what I mean.
Don't believe me?
How many angles to do you think Wolf would like to shoot her from?
Strangely this technology was only used once on the air. But surprisingly, Jessia Yellin found herself continually beamed into Wolf's beard.
We have to take a break from this because the 4077th is ready to make a projection, just one moment
Okay with it being 5:30 right now, we are ready to project that you will probably NOT see this hologram technology on CNN anytime soon. They spent all their money on John Kings new toys including a flat screen HD monitor that has little elves inside of it that actually go out and color the states whatever color Mr. King desires.
So i know I promised election analysis, but it seems to me as if things are pretty obvious. The economy sucks and people blame George Bush. And because we saw Bush and McCain hanging out at that one party that one time, we were totally pissed at McCain. So now we're cheating on him with Obama to try and make him jealous.
Ladies and gentleman take my advice, If Wolf Blitzer ever invites you into a tent with 35 HD cameras filming differnt parts of your body, run away as quickly as you can.
