Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice...

This past Christmas, Papa spent the day at my parent’s house with us as we opened presents with his 5 great grandchildren or as I call it the circus. I had the opportunity to drive him back to his room in Woodstock afterwords for some much needed peace and quiet for everyone. I asked him what Christmas was like in his house growing up with him and his 3 brothers. He said that by the afternoon of Christmas day, his mother would just give them each a nickel and send them to the movies.


It was a pleasure to be able to get him to talk about old stories like that every once in a while. As we dropped him off in his room, I could not help at fear that perhaps this would be one of the last times I got to spend quality time with him. It made me sad as I drove back to my parent’s house in Rockford and i started to reflect on how much he has done for me and my family. I decided I needed to figure out a way to honor his legacy.


To honor Papa’s legacy, we should go back and look at exactly what his life entailed. How do you measure 94 and half years? I know my simple words will not be enough to truly express the fullness of his life. One way is to perhaps examine his life from a statistical historical perspective. Papa lived through 17 US presidents, 8 Roman Catholic Popes, 6 or 7 major wars, the advent of commercial air travel, the beginning of human space flight, 52 Super Bowls and 1 Chicago Cubs World Series Victory.


Of course these events and numbers do nothing to truly define this man that has touched so many lives. What truly stands out to me as his legacy, is his willingness time and time again to say yes.

Papa was born and raised Catholic being baptized right here at St. Mary’s. While his parents and godparents were the ones who said yes for him as a baby, Papa proved throughout his life his willingness to say yes to whatever our Lord would ask of him. Papa’s love of the Lord and concern for other people was clearly influenced by the example of his mother and father. During his time in the nursing home we would frequently try and get old stories out of him. One of these times he described his mother as the finest woman he ever met. According to Tom she took care of him when he got sick a lot from pneumonia to bed wetting. She never made him feel small.


Despite his poor breathing condition Tom and his brothers always said yes to playing baseball, basketball and football all day every summer. Growing up in the Cooney household must have been an adventure with 4 boys. I have 2 of my own and I very much recognize why their mother decided to send them to the movies after Christmas dinner. One story Papa relayed to us was pretending to drive his father’s car in the driveway with his younger brother Leo in the passenger seat. Leo could not have been much more than 3 years old as the story is told. Tom inevitably shifted the car into neutral and it rolled backwards into the street. After coming to a stop, Tom quickly swapped seats with Leo. His parents didn’t really fall for it.


World War II interrupted Tom’s late teens and early 20s. When duty called, Tom said yes to serving his country in the army. As I recall from a high school history project where I had to interview him he was originally sent to an accounting division of the army which he hated. He also was held back from active duty due to his chronic asthma. Despite serving in the accounting field, Tom wanted to do more for his country and eventually made his way into the Army Air Corps where he became a bombardier on the B -17 flying fortress. Before he could serve in battle, the war came to an end. I would say this was fortunate as the only victims of Tom’s bombs were some cows on some practice missions but Tom always felt guilty about not serving actively in the war. As a result Tom said yes to serving for an additional year in post-war Germany.


After returning home, Tom completed his education and returned to Woodstock. He soon re-met Irene Shereda whom he says he met when they were seniors in high school, but Tom had been in love with someone else at that time. Eventually he was ready to say one of the most important yeses in his life. But first he had to to get Irene to say yes. One night Tom and Irene were on the floor watching TV and Tom had brought a ring. He asked her to marry him, She said yes. He did not get down on one knee because they were already on the floor. I asked him if he had asked her father for permission and he told me “that he, as in Tom, was rube and didn’t know about that kind of stuff but that he probably should have.”


Tom and Irene were married on May 26, 1951. They quickly settled into married life in Woodstock buying a home on Lincoln avenue, the same street Tom had been born on and grew up on. In 1959 the Lord led Tom and Irene to start a family of their own and they said yes to the most beautiful baby girl when they adopted Megan in 1959. According to legend, they were bringing the baby home from Rockford and the first person they encountered in Woodstock was Joe Conerty. He tapped on the glass of the car window, but Irene refused to open it because it was November and too cold for the baby. Papa always told Megan he couldn’t wait to walk down the street holding his daughter’s hand. Tom and Irene said yes again 2 years later when they adopted David. This family of 4 was complete. Tom was excited to be a father and to teach his children about saying yes to the Lord.


Tom always wanted the best for his children and always went out of his way to get it. Sometimes to the embarrassment of Irene. The NCAA Final Four was in St. Louis and Tom had acquired tickets a year in advance as was necessary. Tom decided that the trip to Springfield was a good opportunity to drop grandma and her bird and the dog off at the cousins in Springfield’s house. The trip was nearly derailed by a legendary ice storm in Springfield that led to everyone sleeping on Red Cross cots in a small truck stop. The Cooney clan eventually made it to St. Louis. Their seats were of course at the top of the arena so when Tom spotted some open seats closer to the action, he decided to try and sit there. Irene was horrified and would not go. After taking their seats in the new section, the couple next to them gave them a strange look and were overheard saying, “Aren’t the Wooden’s coming this evening”” This was of course referring to legendary NCAA basketball coach John Wooden who if I remember the story right did in fact show up and Tom graciously excused themselves from their seats.


Of course the material things of this world were not what was most important to Tom. He was raised a faithful Catholic and strived to live out his faith personally and in service to others.


If there is anything Tom loved being more than a husband and father, and I could be biased on this point, it would be when he became Papa in December 1984. A joyous day for everyone involved i am sure as I came into the world but a day also filled with sadness as my twin brother Timmy died at birth. I am named Thomas Harold after both of my grandfathers and I have always been proud to be Tommy to his Tom though don’t call me Tom, because that’s always been his name. In 1988 I was joined by my sister Christina and Papa got his little Squirt.

Papa eagerly said yes to being a grandfather and he was everything you could want in a grandparent. He had a sense of adventure taking us on countless hiking trips both here and on our spring break visits with him in Arizona where he spent the winters. He would actively engage with us in our imaginations. I recently saw a home video of him pretending to be Mr. McFeely to my Mister Rogers. Once he got a new refrigerator on Lincoln ave and we kept that box it came in for 5 years. (Though it is fair to point out that throwing things away was not something he eagerly said yes too) He would roll around in it with us as a hamster wheel or chase us down the sidewalk in it much to our delight. He would teach us games, direct us in Christmas plays, take us golfing, take us swimming at Uncle Don’s, take us to the train museum, and let me pour water down his trunks on the beach in Escanaba Michigan where he spent many vacations with our family.


He was always open to being silly, until it was time to be serious. This is probably one of the most important things I have ever learned from him. As a Youth Minister I have had several teens tell me that one of the reasons I am good at my job is because I can be goofy and relatable one minute and then quickly switch to a prayerful or serious teaching mode depending on what the moment calls for. I only recently realized that this was yet another gift from Papa. The most important gift I received from Papa though was the gift of faith. It was always Papa who pushed us to take our faith seriously and to continue growing as disciples of Jesus. Whether it was taking us to Church, or encouraging us to serve other, or ensuring we received a Catholic education, it was Papa who is the most important rock of my faith. So much so that I chose him to be my confirmation sponsor in high school. It was because of Papa’s example and persistence that when I attended my first Kyrios retreat in high school, my eyes were finally opened to the peace and the joy that comes from having a relationship with Jesus Christ. From that time forward I always felt more deeply connected to Papa because I finally understood the role faith played in his life and now I did too. He would always send clippings from religious newspapers or articles that he had come across. I didn’t read everything he sent but what I did always touched my heart. When I left for a year of volunteer missionary work in Wisconsin Papa gave me a book called Praying w/ St. Paul. You could always count on Papa to have a beautiful handwritten message on the inside cover of books he would gift you. This prayer book served me each day of that tough year and drew me closer to Christ and to Papa as he had the same book and we were united in our daily prayer.


In 1992 Papa lost Irene to cancer. I was old enough to recognize she was gone but there’s no way I could realize what an impact her loss might have had on him. I believe that part of why Papa loved marriage was being able to serve someone. Christ commands us to serve others and Papa lives that out in every aspect of his life. After Irene’s death he through himself even more into the charity work he had undertaken. He was known for a lot but one of the most influential in my life was his dedication to the Woodstock Food Pantry. I can’t count the number of Saturdays that were spent in Woodstock helping him stock the shelves. Part of me hated it because I was lazy, but deep down I think we all loved spending time with Papa and began to recognize the importance of serving others. One year at Christmas the pantry was doing one of those projects where you buy gifts for families in need and they get delivered on Christmas eve. I guess one more family came in late after the deadline so Papa said yes to our family buying the gifts on this family's list. And since it was past the deadline we would have to personally deliver the gifts to this family. That was a profound moment in my life to see the gratitude in the eyes of the family we were able to serve. Of course helping others is not always about getting to see the fruits of your labors and this was something Papa understood well as he was involved with Food for the Poor and a series of missions that helped in Haiti where he would never see his own good deeds with his own eyes. But that didn’t matter, Papa was saying yes to Christ’s call to live out the Corporal works of mercy.



In 1997, Papa said yes once again to becoming a husband when he and Jane Conerty were married in Arizona. This was a change in lifestyle for us to have a step-grandmother but it quickly became fun to go visit Papa and Jane. The love and affection the Conerty clan demonstrates towards Tom proves to me that he quickly adapted to life as a step-father and step-grandfather Though I do think everyone on both sides of the families were relieved there never a new half sibling to contend with in their 21 years of marriage. As Papa’s outside service declined with his advancing age, he continued to say yes to service through his love and devotion to Jane. I think that was what was most frustrating for Papa about growing older was his inability to serve others. I also contend that without Jane in his life, there is no way Papa would have lived this long and for that I am eternally grateful.


So after 94 years, what is the legacy of Tom Cooney? He said yes to Jesus. Not just once, but every day of his 94 years. He said yes to serving others. He said yes to giving of himself physically, emotionally, financially to those who were in need of his love and support. He said yes to putting others before himself. He was the most unselfish person I have ever met in world that promotes selfishness.


So how can I and all of us truly honor his legacy? For me when I first posed that question to myself I realized that because of Papa’s influence on my life, I am already doing it. I have said yes to the Lord’s call to be the best husband to Kayln and the best father to Isaiah, Andrew, and Elizabeth that I can be. It is my job to get them to heaven and I have Papa’s tireless example of striving to lead all of us to holiness to inspire me for the rest of my life. I would encourage all of you find a way to say YES to Jesus just as Tom showed us all. Whether that means praying more, going to Church, working on your marriage, spending more time with your kids, giving more money to those in need, giving of your time to charitable causes for those in need, find ways to keep saying Yes. Papa always said yes and I know that he never regretted any of it. So learn from his wisdom as I trust that he is now truly united with the saints and Angels. I had him for 33 years and now it’s time for him to take my brother Timmy for a hike, or to go for a walk with Irene, or drive Leo around on his birthday once again.



Papa, we thank you for saying yes to the Lord, for serving all of us as humbly and unselfishly as you did. As we heard in the second reading today Papa, you have fought the good fight, you have finished the race. Well done good and faithful servant. Come and take your rest. Rest in Peace Papa. Thank you. I love you.