Friday, December 15, 2006
SNEAK PEAK
It's Not Gossip...It's The Truth
1. We're baaaack!
2. New relationship OFFICALLY announced.
3. East/West Schism ended by diaspora.
4. Some actual news
5. Enjoy the Holiday
1. WE"RE BAAAACK!
Hello good friends and lovers long forgot. This a quick sneak preview of what you can hopefully expect in some of your inboxes or blogs. For those of you unfamiliar with this let me welcome you back to the fastest growing online periodical, It's Not Gossip...It's The Truth. The original intention and a brief history of the ING will be covered in the first offical issue. This is just a sneak preview of what you can all be looking forward to in January. Or if you are an oppressor of the press, you will be dreading us, because we will be triumphant once again. The voice of the people will not be silenced. And by people I really mean our editorial staff, which has expanded dramtically since our last issue.
2. New relationship is "OFFICIAL"
Straight from the most reliable source of online dating comes word that a relationship that many insiders had been suspecting to happen offically exists. Facebook.com Newsfeed has just announed Aaron Morey and Kristin Jesuits are IN A RELATIONSHIP! Sources close to the couple say they knew there was something abound but they were never really sure til they saw the words in plain english on their computer screen during the daily stalking. ING wishes the best to this happy couple during their first two weeks of "officially" being a couple.
3. Holy Hesycasts!
One of the most frequently reported events in the original ING was the division within the community between East and West. This does not mean the Orthodox and Roman Catholic Church. The divide was between members living in Mashuda/Odonell and those in Cobeen, Carpenter Tower and Dwayne Wade Straz Jr. Tower Hall. Negotiations continually fell through the cracks and an Alaskan dictatorship stood between the chaos and the opportunity for real peace. Well since that time the schism has been ended. Unfortuantely it has been replaced by a diaspora of sorts. No one on the original e-mail list for the ING is really quite sure where anyone else lives. They are pretty sure they are not dead but former community members are spread all over this campus. North south, east, west, hell, people are turning up everywhere! More attention will be granted to this story as the ING goes to print.
4. Actual news, seriously we couldn't even make this up!
The AP reported recently on a Wisconsin man who accidentally struck a dear in the road with his truck. Not an uncommon event in rural Wisconsin, except for the fact that the deer had SEVEN (7) legs! Upon further investigation it was determined that the deer was actually two deer that failed to separate early in the embryo stage. This was evident by the presence of both male and female sex organs. When asked to comment about the deer the Wisconsinite had this to say, "Sure was tasty." Seriously who would want to make this up?
5. Enjoy the Holiday
We here at the ING follow the lead of Marquette University to grant attention to the special holiday of this time of the year. We would encourage everyone to remember what this time and break is really for. Not just for relaxing but spending some much needed time with the family, especially around the lights. Happy Hanakah everyone!
And thats the news for this your special sneak preview of all that you can look forward to in 2007!
You'll Believe A Man Can Lie.
Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice, remember to tell those you love that you care about them, and couldn't possibly imagine your life without them. Make sure you tell God how grateful you are for them as well.
# posted by The REAL Tommy @ 11:08 PM 
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